Okay, so while pregnancy and being a breastfeeding mother may not be an excuse for bad behaviour, it really needs to be said that messing with a woman in either state takes a brave person. Because we are always right.

There are just some days when the slightest little thing will tip the balance and you’re quite likely to yell, “Because I said so!”. And you know what? You’re justified.

The cat’s been throwing up fur balls, your toddler has given up day sleeps – you tried for three hours to keep him in there and you’ve finally had to admit defeat. You got the time wrong for your midwifes visit and had been doing the over night fasting for your blood test – you’re ravenous and you really get what it feels like to be a Mama Bear! The washing machine is on the blink and the repair man can’t come until at least Tuesday.

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Telling tales can be fun! As long as you remember they are just tales…

Depending on what stage of your pregnancy you’re at, you are bound to come across what some call “words of wisdom” but are probably better known as “old wives tales”.

Let’s liken it a little to medical students. When they are at certain stages of their training, they self diagnose. They truly believe they have every ailment in their textbooks. Be forewarned pregnant & breastfeeding women of the world – you could fall into this same trap! Either take the sayings with a good old pinch of proverbial salt or snap that book shut, force quit, move to trash!

Granted, they are good for a giggle… Take the following three tales for example:

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Ok forgive me for sounding geeky, but If you’re anything like me, each day I find a new reason for why I LOVE my… iphone!  It’s sad, I know, but true. And here’s the latest:

If you’re pregnant or have a toilet training toddler in tow, we know you will have been caught short at some stage! There’s nothing worse than the angst suffered at this time  – and as you become more desperate, so does the situation! You knew that last drink was a mistake; curse those cleaners and their locked doors; you really thought you’d make it home… Time to take charge and it’s iPhone to the rescue!

SitOrSquat would have to be the most useful free iPhone app ever developed. You can search toilets based on your current location or at any address around the world (handy if you don’t have an iPhone and can text a friend with one, or vice versa!). And then you can finally declare… “ipeed!”.

You can find SitOrSquat, of course, on itunes.

If you too have a favorite mommy/baby smartphone app, please share. Weed (sik) all love to know!

‘Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind.’

Mike Harding – The Armchair Anarchist’s Almanac.

The other day I had lunch with two of my girl friends. One is engaged, one is newlywed and I have been married for 10+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing black lingerie, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to swap notes.

Here’s how it all went.

My engaged friend: The other night when my fiance came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams!’ Then we made passionate love all night long..
The newlywed: Me too! The other night I met my new husband at his office and I was wearing a Raincoat, under it only the black lingerie, heels and Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all Night.
Then I had to share my Story: When my husband came home I was wearing the black lingerie, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.  When he came in the door and saw me he said,

“What’s for Dinner, Batman?”

Well, haven’t we heard and seen it all now?

We were alerted to this new lingerie phenomenon – for want of a better word! – by the wonderful team at The Lingerie Post. A Cleavage Caddy, so called as it reminds one of a golf caddy which is defined by the stuffing of everything but the kitchen sink into a myriad of pockets!

Do we really need to be adding pockets to our bras?

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Well, as we go about our daily activities here at HOTmilk Lingerie we sometimes come upon some things that are just downright out there!

Take for example this inflatable bra on offer in China.  The inflatable bra is not just about blowing up some bust enlarging pads to slide into your existing lingerie. No, it’s more James Bond than that!  With just one press of the contour pad at the base of each cup, up up up goes your bust, spilling over into something quite spectacular. You can go from B to C cup, an increase of 3cm! But as suggested my the manufacturer, for “parties”, push again and you can increase to a D!! Make sure you have the sound on – even if you can’t understand the lingo, you will get a good grasp on what it’s all about just from the tone of the voice over! What do you think? Is this inflatable ratable?