The eternal question . “Is it okay to have sex during pregnancy?” For some, the thought of having sex is the last thing on their mind and a negative answer to this question would be a huge relief. They’re tired, sore, moody and suffering from morning sickness. Their body has been taken over by all sorts of hormones, their bottom is maintaining the same growth rate as their belly, their breasts have taken on a life of their own and those long awaited baby “flutters” are more like lying under a catwalk full of stiletto-heeled models.

Sex?

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What happened to rejoicing in the miracle of giving birth and producing this gorgeous wee person you have in your arms? Why is the miracle now directed more at whether you can leave the maternity hospital in your skinny jeans?

The answer will be ricocheting round in your head, something you’ve heard but until the birth of your baby, were part of. The pressured, fast paced 21^st century world we live in. The desire to keep going, to put on a brave face, career opportunities not to be missed, bills to pay, holidays to go on…Suddenly, this world came to a cataclysmic halt. You were handed one of the largest items you’ve ever taken ownership of and it didn’t come with a manual. A baby. And along with that exquisite wee person came the extra kilos, a dent in your bank balance and the aforementioned skinny jeans.  Which you can no longer wear.

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Body shape and the danger of comparison

Take a moment to consider just how many times we compare ourselves with others in any one day? At the gym as we look in the mirror on our Swiss Ball. At the supermarket as we notice how the women around us are dressed. At playgroup or at the park – whose children are behaving the best?

Have you ever noticed how even when you ‘win’ at this game, you still feel bad about playing it? Even when you notice that someone else’s bottom is bigger or their kids are behaving worse than yours, something inside you feels uncomfortable – it’s like even when you win, you lose.

Turning motherhood into a competitive journey is never going to fill our hearts with joy. It robs us of a sense of connection with others and fuels the fire of jealousy and feelings of inadequacy. It’s nothing more than a poor substitute for doing the work required to live an authentic and meaningful life.

Next time you feel less than perfect or less than worthy, consider this…

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