The eternal question . “Is it okay to have sex during pregnancy?” For some, the thought of having sex is the last thing on their mind and a negative answer to this question would be a huge relief. They’re tired, sore, moody and suffering from morning sickness. Their body has been taken over by all sorts of hormones, their bottom is maintaining the same growth rate as their belly, their breasts have taken on a life of their own and those long awaited baby “flutters” are more like lying under a catwalk full of stiletto-heeled models.

Sex? This is what you got you to this place in the first instance.

Take heart. While some women are unfortunate enough to feel like this right throughout their pregnancy, most can truly say they had a better or worse time of it during the various trimesters. Generally, the second trimester is when you’ll feel at your most sensual. The extra blood volume and swollen tissue around your delicate bits, means heightened sensitivity. Your energy levels are high, your belly is not too large so as to interfere with any sexual activity (you may need to be a little inventive once this happens!) and it is more than likely a time to indulge. Many women report that even the fact that birth control is no longer an issue, is incentive enough to enjoy a more active, carefree sex life.

And yes, the experts say sex is fine unless you are at risk of premature labour , experience bleeding or discomfort.

But what if you just don’t want to? You feel pressured to be the hot mama, the thought of lingering seductively in your lingerie doesn’t thrill you and the grasp reflex babies have which you’ve just learned about in your baby book is more deserving of your husbands response to your burgeoning bust! They seem more deserving of the title Terrible Twos than what your perfect baby is apparently going to turn into! What’s wrong with you, you angst? Your pregnant friends have always smirked knowingly about their increased libido and wink suggestively at you when you and your partner leave early to go home. You know what? Nothing.

Each and every pregnancy is different. Different for every woman and if you go on and have more babies, those pregnancies will be different too. Keep in mind this is only a short time in your life – even though it may feel like eternity right now. Make sure you communicate this to your partner and find other ways to remain close, both physically and emotionally.

Always make sure that as the person at the centre of this incredible journey, you are able acknowledge, convey and strive for what is best for you. A happy you makes for happy people surrounding you.